


Kurikaesu (Repeat)

by Werepirechick



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Gore, Character Death, Doomed Timelines, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Sort of? - Freeform, Time Loop, Time Travel, Tragedy, Violence, but canon keeps chugging along anyways, hello naughty children its angst time, i mean donnie certainly isn't, no happy ending, so i guess my subconscious gave me a better version, thanks dream me, this episode was boring for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 04:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10563969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick/pseuds/Werepirechick
Summary: Donnie, months after Splinter's death, finds an artifact that can send him back to the night his father died.He makes his wish to redo that night over, and it's granted.Except his father still dies, and Donnie has to try again. And again, and again, and again...





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had a hyper vivid dream of this, and felt the need to inflict it on everyone as well.

 

 

Raph’s breath is coming fast and harsh, and his focus has narrowed to doing as much damage as he can to the Shredder, while not taking any to himself. It’s not working, and he feels another gash open up as an arm spike catches him.

Casey’s hockey stick splinters as he distracts the Shredder, and Raph uses the opening to get in and try for their opponent’s heart. But, as he does, the Shredder’s grip finds him, and Raph loses all the air in his lungs as he’s slammed into the roof again and again.

He feels his shell threaten to crack, pain ringing through it as the Shredder raises him up again. Raph can’t even fight being thrown across the roof, and he knows that he’s heading straight for the edge as he does. A solid impact, painful in its own way, stops him from that- but he hears Casey’s scream as he takes the fall Raph had been meant to.

Raph’s vision blackens, and he hits the rooftop hard.

His head swims as he drags himself back from unconsciousness, and he tries to raise himself onto his elbows. He sees that April is lying next to him, clutching a heavily bleeding gash on her arm, and their Sensei across the roof, facing down the Shredder alone.

Then-

-someone’s battle cry is shouted over the sound of clashing blades, and _Donnie_ leaps over the edge of the roof to charge into the fight.

Raph can’t believe his eyes, but he’s grateful because that means they have back up. There’s still a chance to salvage this.

But then, as Raph pulls himself off the ground with April’s help, the fight’s tide turns again, and even with Donnie’s help-

-the Shredder throws Raph’s brother aside, and runs his claws straight through Splinter.

Time freezes, and so does everyone else, as the Shredder holds Splinter in the air. Raph’s father shudders on the twin blades for a moment, and then goes still. And the Shredder just laughs.

Raph’s hoarse cry breaks through his horror, just as his other two brothers make it onto the roof, and as the Shredder laughs, standing over their father’s bleeding body, with Donnie standing wide eyed only feet away, everything collapses in on itself, and something like a shrieking _tear_ goes through him, and Raph can’t breathe, _can’t look away from his father, and_ -

- _Donnie holds the artifact in his hands, hands tight on its edges, and he takes a deep breath in, and asks it to give him that day back, just one more try, so he can fix this and fix his family; and then everything breaks and he’s flung backwards in time, and he’s himself again, younger and smaller, and he goes running, calling a halfway explained message to his brothers as he ushers to the streets, because they have to hurry, the have to hurry-_

-Raph’s feet skid on the roof, as he dances around his father and the Shredder, looking for a way to break into the fight. Casey and April skim the edges of the fight with him, and as Splinter retreats for a moment, Casey seizes the chance to launch explosives into the fray.

Raph takes his cue, ignoring the split second Déjà vu, and follows Casey’s opened pathway. He goes for the Shredder’s exposed heart for a beat, but switches the attack when something tells him he shouldn’t. He instead puts a long slice in Shredder’s leg, going through tough skin to cut the tendon.

The man turned monster bellows, and swipes at Raph. He leaps away, giving room for Casey to fire another round of explosive pucks. April joins in, ripping debree from the rooftop and launching it at Shredder.

And then Donnie appears over the ledge of the roof, and runs straight into the fight. Raph is confused for a moment, why his brother is here and not at the docks, but he pushes the confusion away to join in a four way attack.

“Where’s Mike and Leo?” Raph asks, sparing a second to question where their other siblings are.

“It doesn’t matter!” Donnie replies hurriedly, and Raph then sees the desperate intensity in his brother’s eyes. “Just keep him away from Splinter!”

Their father renters the battle then, limping with his right leg, but steady with his strikes regardless. Raph moves as fast as he can, darting around the heavy yet fast swings of the Shredder’s blades. They’re winning, they have to be, and once Leo and Mikey get here, with the rest of the Mutanimals, things will turn around completely, there’s no _way_ the Shredder can take them all at once-

Then, as Donnie shoves their father out of the way from what would have been a deadly blow-

-the Shredder’s bloodshot eyes turn to Raph, and he swings at him, and Raph’s throat chokes as something thick and _wrong_ enters it.

He looks down, hazy and confused, and spits red out of his mouth.

There’s two blades buried in his center, and blood seeping out around them.

He looks up, and he can’t breathe, he can’t _breathe,_ and finds the horror filled looks of his family.

As the Shredder rips his claws out, destroying Raph’s plastron as he does, Raph hears Donnie’s muted scream, and then everything turns black and painful and something _twists-_

_-Donnie clenches his control over time, and as he reels from the horror of seeing his father and brother die, he twists it the way he needs it to be and bites down a scream as it flings him backwards again-_

-Raph isn’t sure when Donnie got onto the roof, but he’s here anyways. Donnie is moving too fast, too furiously, for Raph to ask where their brothers went, and he can only try to keep his focus on the fight and save his worry for their siblings for after.

Donnie is sticking to Raph’s side and to Splinter’s, taking hits meant for the both of them, and Raph yells _“Get out of the way!”_ more than once. Donnie ignores every demand for him to move, and continues putting himself in the line of fire.

As the Shredder knocks Casey off his feet, sending him headed for the roof’s edge, Raph ditches the fight all together to stop his friend’s uncontrolled fall. Casey lands hard against Raph, and it’s a near thing that they don’t go flying off the roof.

Raph shoves Casey to his feet, Casey’s breathless _“Thanks, Raph.”_ are the only words passed between them. They gather themselves and their weapons, and start back at the fight, only to see-

-Donnie blocking the Shredder from slashing their father, and receiving a broken weapon and a split plastron for his efforts.

Donnie’s pained yell is only just heard over April’s infuriated scream, and as Raph’s brother stumbles backwards into their father’s waiting arms, April unleashes a wave of rage induced psychic power. It sweeps over the rooftop, and Raph’s footing slips at the blast. He and Casey brace themselves on one another, riding out the worst of the gale.

Then it abruptly stops, and Raph’s eyes open again.

Someone’s soft gasp is heard across the frozen battlefield, and Raph’s stomach drops out when he finds the source.

April is pinned to the roof, hands weakly pushing against the thick, twisted arm holding her there. One hand holds her neck, while the other has slashed through his midriff. Blood dripping from the claws, bright and obvious and telling of what’s just happened.

Casey’s choked yell comes a beat after, and he throws himself across the roof; nail studded bat drawn and aimed at the Shredder. Raph follows too late, shocked into stillness by the pooling red coming from April’s stomach, and there’s nothing he can do to stop Casey.

Casey’s bat breaks, and he’s thrown to the ground. The Shredder lifts his grip from April, leaving her still and pale and _dead,_ as he focuses on taking apart Casey instead. Raph’s sais are blocked with one hand, and he feels his scales split as Shredder backhand’s him.

Raph’s body rings with pain, slamming into the steel supports of the sign tower. As he tries, and fails, to shake off what feels like a concussion, someone’s agonized scream echoes through the air.

Raph sees Donnie, back on his feet and clutching at the new split down his chest, and knows that Donnie’s scream is for their friends.

Raph’s vision skews to the side as he struggles to stand, and he _knows_ he won’t be able to reach his brother and father in time, knows that it’s far too late for Casey, knows that its beyond hope for April, and as the Shredder turns on what pieces of Raph’s family remain on the roof, something tears and twists and someone _screams and screams and-_

_-Donnie lands back in himself again, a tenth time in that moment, and he goes running, not bothering to explain things to his brothers this time around, because that wastes time and time is precious, and he has to **move** if he doesn’t want to lose his father and brother and friends again, not again _ not again _-_

-Raph’s focus is momentarily shifted from the fight, as Donnie throws himself into the battle from seemingly nowhere. Raph opens his mouth to demand where their brothers are, why Donnie is here and not with them-

-but Donnie’s wild, desperate, _furious_ look stops the words in Raph’s throat, and he can only back his brother up as he lays into the Shredder.

Donnie keeps him out though, keeps _everyone out,_ and continuously attacks the Shredder. Ignoring every slice and gash he earns for it. Raph knows Donnie is strong, but _no one_ can take this kind of damage and expect to survive, _no one-_

-and that’s proven when Donnie’s anger fueled attack misses, and the Shredder slashes through Donnie’s wrist. Raph cries out the same time as Donnie, but there’s nothing he can do, he’s too far from the middle of the fight and Donnie can’t defend himself, not when his hand is only _just_ still attached to him, hanging awkward and wrong as Donnie stares up at the claws flying towards him-

-and then someone darts between the Shredder and Donnie, and everything stops.

Raph’s grip on his sais goes weak, as he stares at his father. Splinter hangs over Donnie, impaled through his chest. Donnie lays on the rooftop, clutching his arm and staring horrified upwards at their father.

Gore drips from Splinter’s chest, splattering on Donnie’s face and body. Splinter coughs only once, weak and raspy, and then goes still.

And then Donnie _howls._

The sound that Donnie is making, something pained and desperate and _heartbroken,_ continues as the Shredder tosses Splinter aside like he’s nothing. The monster looms over Donnie, and Raph only manages to start a stumbling run towards his brother, reaching forwards to do something, _anything,_ as the Shredder raises his arm, red blades gleaming in the lights of the hotel’s sign, and slashes downwards at Donnie and everything warps for a split second around that point in time and then it _shrieks as something tears itself apart-_

_-Donnie rips time and space apart, agony ripping through him as he does, and he can’t give up, he has to try again, again and again and again until it_ works _-_

-Raph sees the blades of the Shredder go through April, even as Donnie races to intercept, and as Casey and Splinter charge in to get the monster off their lone kunoichi, Donnie’s sobbing scream is all Raph can hear as his brother clutches April to his chest, unable to do anything to stop the bleeding or the choking gasps as April struggles to inhale around the blood, and she’s dying, she’s dying and Donnie’s scream is the only sound besides the rage filled cries from their father and only surviving friend-

- _Donnie keeps screaming, can’t_ stop _screaming, because he can still feel her growing cold, getting weaker, right in his arms and there wasn’t anything he could do, nothing he could, except try again again again again-_

-Raph feels himself fly backwards, taking a blow that had been meant for his brother, and the last thing he sees is Donnie’s terrified, desperate gaze as Raph flies into a steel beam and something _cracks_ in his shell, and agony explodes through him and he can’t inhale around the feeling of something being _broken in him_ -

_-not Raph please not Raph not anyone not any of them,_ please, _Donnie begs and screams and tries again even as the images of his failures cling to him as he throws himself back in time again and again and again-_

-Casey’s hockey stick breaks as he and Donnie try to stop the blow of the Shredder, aimed at both them and Splinter, who lays on the ground with a bleeding side and weak gasps, and Raph can’t move fast enough, even with April’s powers throwing him forwards, to stop the twin blades from meeting their mark and going straight through Casey’s mask and chest, splitting it neatly two ways and spraying blood everywhere as Donnie drops his staff and reaches for Casey, ignoring how the same blades are going straight for his shell like they had Casey, and Raph reaches forwards, useless and too slow as things narrow to Donnie curled around their friend and _howling_ as something breaks and creaks and _slips away-_

_-why won’t this work why can’t he save them, please please please don’t take them from him again, no more NO MORE-_

-Splinter’s body hits the roof, and Donnie’s scream comes even before then, Raph’s own desperate cries lost in the outrage and pain of his brother’s voice; Donnie’s screams only getting louder and louder as he recklessly slashes at the monster that’s killed their father, heedless of April, heedless of Casey, heedless of everyone else as he attempts to bring down Shredder all on his own, and takes a blow identical to the one their father had, right through the chest, and Raph’s own scream of fury comes too late as Donnie struggles on the impalement, growing weaker as his screams turn into broken gasps, and everything slides a direction it shouldn’t and something _rips itself apart-_

_-he just wants to save his dad, not this, not watch them die over and over and over again, and he keeps going back_ anyways, _because what other choice does he have, he can’t lose him, he can’t lose her, he can’t lose his brother, please please please don’t take them from him again-_

-Raph’s chest is split open, like he saw happen to April, to Casey, to his _father_ , and Donnie is still struggling on the edge of his vision, trying to get up even as red pours out of his stomach, hands clawing on the rooftop, still desperate to reach Raph and the rest of their family, even as Raph’s vision starts going dark and he sees Donnie faltering, slipping as he crawls, and the Shredder laughs and laughs and _laughs-_

_-Donnie’s hundredth failure causes a howl to claw its way out of his throat, and he can’t, he can’t do this anymore, he can’t keep failing- is there really no other way? Was this all for nothing? Is it really that impossible to save his father- and he can’t, he can’t he can’t he can’t and he’s_ sorry-

-Raph kneels by his father’s body, choking tears and pointless pleads building up in him. Mikey and Leo clutch at Splinter’s hands, but there’s no point. The holes in their father’s chest are too wide to close, and the red pooling around their knees is too big for any hope of recovery.

They’re too late. They failed. The Shredder won.

“I’m sorry.”

Raph lifts his head, misery and loss making everything swim, and he sees Donnie, hunched on himself.

“I’m _sorry,”_ Donnie says again, voice cracking. He looks up at Raph, eyes haunted and dark, and his lips curl back as he sobs. “I couldn’t- there wasn’t any other _way-_ if he didn’t then someone else did, and I- I can’t _lose you guys too-”_ Donnie’s chest shudders as he clutches himself, and he shakes as thick tears wet his mask. “-he just- _wouldn’t survive,_ none of us would, it was either him or- or- or _all of us-”_

Raph can’t make sense of Donnie’s words, or why he’s whispering _“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”_ over and over like a mantra. His brother’s sobs break his words into meaningless sounds, and as the rain pours down on them all, Raph finds the same sounds coming from him.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> tbh this episode didn't make me feel much of anything; no sadness, no regret, no nothing. this right here, in my opinion, saves that ep from blandness, even though it's hecka impossible for canon.
> 
> i just love making my faves s u f f e r you see.


End file.
